Our Love Was Black And White
by mywish21
Summary: Rose: A girl who has leukaemia and has a one in 200,000 chance of surviving the next ten years. Her life goal before she dies is to fall in love and have a job. She moves to Russia in hopes of starting a new life, despite still battling cancer. Dimitri: A Russian man who has a spare room to have rented. A mystery in Rose's eyes. And then she finds a new goal in life. To crack him.
1. Chapter 1

The doctor clicked her tongue to the beat of the music, her pen was tucked behind her ear and she was walking around with a clipboard. Though she looked completely relaxed and normal there was something she wasn't telling me. I knew that because no matter how causal her facade was her eyes gave it away they were darting back and forth nervously. I was suddenly curious to why she was so nervous, I only had a small blackening bruise down my spine, it was just a bruise but why was she so nervous?

Lying down on the bed Abe pulled me up. Abe is pretty cool. He had wicked black yet brown slick hair, he was Turkish which gave him nice tanned skin. He had a signature gold hoop in his ear, gold bangles up his arm. He may look like an ordinary man with his turban but he gave a 'don't mess with me' posture and anyone with half a brain wouldn't. Abe was my father.

My mother ran off after she had me, we don't know where but Abe had said that she was overjoyed when she first had me and when she was with Abe. He said that she spent every minute she had with me and then about one week after she left. Abe had said that because she was so happy with me he would've thought that she would've been kidnapped because she would never leave me. But the fact that every single one of her possessions was gone proved that she left by choice. The only possession she left was a golden bangle which matched Abe's, I wore it now.

I guessed I wouldn't have looked that much like my mother; I looked too much like Abe. I too had wicked hair that was dark brown but could be guessed as black, my eyes were the exact same colour. I had tanned Turkish skin which suited me well; it looked like the inside on an almond. And I had beautiful boosted curves. I would like to consider my looks an exotic desert princess.

I was healthy and well, why would there be something wrong with me? Abe read my thoughts and looked at the doctor in the eyes  
"well dear" he said causally "we don't have all day, what are the results?" I knew Abe well enough to tell that he too noticed the nervousness in the nurse's eyes. She sucked in a breath and sympathetically looked at me.  
"Well Rosemarie it seems that your tests came out... A little strange." The doctor said as she struggled for words, my heart beat faster in fear. "Either your tests came out wrong or you have" she sucked in another breath "Acute Promyelocytic Leukaemia."  
I let out a strangled cry, I had leukaemia. I was sixteen; I had barely any experience in my life. I picture show flashed in front of my eyes of what I could miss out on with this disease. A job, university, a partner, then a husband, then a family, travelling, everything life could offer and I could be stuck in a hospital for something that could eventually kill me.

The doctor seemed to notice my panic and quickly jumped in.  
"The survival rate is 70%"  
"And what if I'm the 30%!" I cried out.  
Abe stared at the women with a neutral expression.  
"What is it that you're not telling us?" He asked, it took me a moment to think but then I noticed that she still wore the worried expression, as if she were concealing something. "What is it?" Abe urged, she looked at me once more before spitting it out.  
"You're too late"  
"What do you mean?" I demanded  
"The leukaemia you have, it's progressed all through your body, not just bone-marrow. Most of the time with this disease it's just immature and not grown blood cells, we can generally treat it easily to stop it from progressing throughout the rest of the system. And with you well to put it in an easy way it's done the rare thing and has already spread."  
Abe seemed to notice what this meant and paled exceptionally. I stayed silent and cocked my head to the side realising I had no understanding on this.  
"Rose" he said grabbing my arm "you have a one in 200,000 chance of surviving the next ten years."

**2 Years Later…..**

The plane was aborting, and my heart was hammering in my chest. This was the first time in two years I had ever done anything on my own, since we found out about my A.P leukaemia. I had a one in 200,000 chance in surviving the next 10 years; it was a miracle that I had survived two of them. Abe wouldn't let me out of his sight _ever_ now, but I had convinced him that if I had a relapse I would call him and I needed to have a bit of time as an individual before I well, died.

The plan was that I was to meet up with my roommate. They could speak English quite fluently which was good considering I was in _Russia_. The excitement was overwhelming and once the plane hit the ground the excitement turned to nervousness, what if she couldn't speak English? What if she didn't like me and tried to make my one year here as miserable? And more importantly what if I had a relapse? But then all feelings went away as I walked out the plane. I was told that there was going to be a sign written in English saying 'Rose Hathaway'.

The airport was massive, you could hear the Russians talking their native languages and saying hello and crying goodbye to their loved ones, there were younger children wondering about and running down the hallways; just like America. Then I saw my name and they decided to make it formal as it said 'Rosemarie Hathaway.' A man in his mid-twenties was holding it; I was assuming he was my cab driver or something. I was all the sudden very grateful that my hair grew back, it was still as dark brown as it had ever be which suited my almost black deep eyes and tanned complexion. I was glad because this guy was _hot _as in like nuclear surface of the sun hot, the hot which got you hit by traffic because you stared at him for too long. He had a small part of chocolate hair which was tied up at the nape of his neck. He too had a very nice skin complexion, the same as the other Russians' around him. He had light brown eyes which could've been passed as blonde and seemed warm.

I strutted up to him and gave him my best award winning Hathaway smile. A smile like the days before I was diagnosed. I knew a little bit of Russian so I decided to try it

"Previet" I said warmly

"Hello" he said stiffly in English, _okay so maybe his just shy_.

"I'm Rose Hathaway" I said with a bit more flirting then needed. _Great now he probably thinks I'm some idiot of a teenage girl._

"Dimitri Belikov" He said stiffly "let's gets your bags." _Nope his definitely shy… or rude._

I walked by his side and had to try meet his strides as his legs were so long.

"So, who's my roommate?" I asked, he looked at me for a second and glanced away. I just caught what he said as he said with a thick Russian accent, quick, crisp and brisk

"Me"

_Oh _

_My _

_God_.


	2. Sick American Traveller

To say the least the car trip was boring and awkward. My mind was in overdrive about the fact that I was meant to be spending a year in _his_ house. He was quite a gentleman at the airport, quietly offering to take my bags for me and put them in his boot, and then opened my door for me.

"So Comrade" I said stretching  
"Dimitri"  
"I made you a nickname while I try to remember your real name."  
"Back to the story" he reminded me

"If you don't mind me asking how old are you? I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just curious." _Yeah this is realllly awkward_.

Like he did last time he revealed something absolutely ridiculous, he turned to me then looked back at the road again. _This isn't going to be good_.

"24, 25 next month" I repressed the urge to spit as if I just had a gulp of water.

"_What_!"

He looked at me confused, "wait a second how old are you Rosemarie?"

"Rose." I confirmed, _oh great_ _I have a man as my roommate who is 24_.

"How old are you Rose?" He repeated.

I held my gaze on the road, "I just turned 18" now it was his turn to look mortified but when I looked at the him, his gaze was only on the road and didn't look as if I didn't inform him about our 7 year age gap. I waited the next ten minutes for him to say something and when he didn't I just put in my ear buds and eventually fell asleep.

When I woke up, it was only because of my hunger and jet lag, but mostly hunger. My eyes were plastered together but then my stomach rumbled, and my eyes snapped open. When I looked around, there was no sun bathing my tanned skin anymore, it was night. And I was in a bedroom, a billion thoughts raced through my head until I realised that I was in Russia, and in Dimitri's apartment. I looked at my watch which I had set for Russia's time zone; it was 1:30 in the morning.

And of course as a natural Hathaway I decided that now would be a good time to explore. There was a lamp next to me which I used to turn on and I looked out my apartment window, a cool gust of air hit me and then I glanced outside there was bright flashing lights, various skyscrapers and buildings in front of us and the sounds of sirens and cars driving parts; we were defiantly in Moscow. And when I looked inside my apartment room I was amazed. There were three light green painted walls and wallpaper on the feature wall behind the end of my bed, it was of Montana, where I lived. There was a bookshelf in the corner of the room filled with old western novels written in Russian, there was also a desk next to it and a four poster bed, a bedside table and a lush purple carpet.

And then all the sudden my amazement faded as I felt myself lower to the ground without realising it, I was collapsing. And then I remembered- my medication, it had been past twelve hours. I needed to have my tablets every twelve hours to prevent side effects of Leukaemia. My palms were sweating nervously as I saw my suitcase in the corner of the room. I got there and shakily grabbed out the medication and straight away swallowed it without hesitation. I already knew what was going to happen next as I had had a few occurrences on when I forgot to have my tablet. I looked around the small apartment and looked for Dimitri's room and eventually I found it lying down on his bed reading a Russian western.

I looked at him and said in a short breath of words. "Dimitri, where is your toilet?"

He looked at me strangely for a second before saying "two doors down on the left." And then I ran out of the room.

I repressed the urge to throw up in my own mouth, and my head was pounding. Not as in adrenaline pounding but as in your brain bashing your skull trying to get out. I resisted the urge to pass out and threw open the door to the bathroom and before I knew it I was puking my guts out in the toilet bowl. And once I started I couldn't stop the slick, hot, vile stuff from sliding out of my mouth. I felt horrible all over and just grimy as I leaned over the toilet bowl and threw up. And then even though I was puking my body shivered as a pair of hands grasped my hair and pulled it behind me before supportably patting my back. I didn't have to look at the tanned muscular hand to know that it was Dimitri. 

Eventually I just stopped; I knew that I had when a full breath of air inhaled my lungs. I wiped my mouth and then I pushed myself off the toilet seat and leaned against the small wall catching my breath. After a few moments Dimitri just stared at me

"What?" I asked

"Why did you throw up?" He asked, I considered telling the truth; but considering the mixed genders and age difference this would just be another hard obstacle to overcome. So I said a lie which simply through my lips.

"It's jetlag" I said and Dimitri narrowed his eyes at me, I cleared my throat "would it be alright if I caught up on some sleep?" I asked politely.

"Perfectly fine" Dimitri replied softly and turned around to leave.

"Wait" I said, Dimitri stopped but didn't turn around, "thank you for um, helping me." Dimitri nodded and left. Once I managed to stand up I got to room and flipped open my cell phone; it took no longer than five seconds for Abe to pick up. And he said the first thing he always said with me.

"Kiz are you alright?" he said almost frantically

"Yes old man I'm fine, but I had a slip up."

"What do you mean"  
"I forgot to take my twelve hour tablets, so I threw up just before."  
"Are you alright?"  
"Yes Abe I am perfectly fine now" I cleared my throat "Abe does my roommate have any idea of my _condition_?" I asked neutrally.

"No Kiz, why?"

"Do you think I should tell them?"  
"Most defiantly"  
"But why?"

"Because it'll help you in future."

"I will eventually" I said, we bid our goodbyes and hung up. I took the rest of the small vitamins and tablets in the palm of my hand was about to swallow it when Dimitri boomed in.

"Could you have the decency to knock?" I snapped unintentionally. Dimitri looked around the room and his eyes narrowed in cold hard anger when he noticed the medication in my hand. Within two strides he was over to me at the other side of the room. His eyes were hard and very, very angry.

"I knew it" He muttered in a scary like voice. My eyes switched to confusion as I looked at him, he had no right to treat me this way.

"Knew what?" I questioned boldly with attitude and my hand on my hip

"Get out, pack your bags and leave" He demanded, my eyes watered

"Why!" I said shoving him, but he barely budged. Was he like this to everyone, is this why I was staying here, did he need quick cheap money from a foreign person then kick me out?

"I am not having a drug addict in my house!" He boomed before knocking my pills on the ground, and then I got it. The twelve numerous funny pills in my hand I was about to swallow when he came in, he overheard my conversation with Abe and thought I was a _drug addict_.

I looked at him wildly and laughed. His eyebrows quirked upwards as I kept laughing

I got some more pills out of my bag, all twelve which I needed to live.

"Oh Dimitri" I said then swallowed all the pills in my hands, his eyes almost burst out of his head as he saw that. There was no sugar-coating what I needed to explain so I just said it plain and simple. I chuckled again

"I'm not a drug addict, I have leukaemia."


	3. Pull a strand of my hair

Dimitri's ager faded straight away and turned not to sadness but confusion.

"What do you mean?" He stuttered "you're lying." He accused, I didn't mind him blaming me, it would've been the first protest which would've come to my mind if Dimitri said he had cancer.

"I have cancer." I said painfully but covered it up with a mask and a shrug, "I have ever since I was sixteen." Dimitri looked at me doubtfully; as if he disbelieved that I did and just made it up so that I could stay here. I didn't want to tell him but I knew that if I didn't I would've been kicked out. So I come out with my cold hard facts.

"Pull a small strand of my hair." I challenged

"No" he replied, so I grabbed a thread of my hair and just by outstretching it a small clump of hair fell into my hand, Dimitri's eyes widened.

"Am I high?" I asked, he looked at me funny for a second

"Dimitri you're 24, you must've seen a person on drugs before. Am I high?" I said with my arms crossed, he stared at me stubbornly and then replied swiftly

"No, you don't seem it" he huffed. I walked over to my suitcase and opened up the front pocket, and there I got out 7 prescribed bottles of pills and liquid medicine, and a form telling me of my condition. Dimitri sat on my bed and slowly scanned through all my forms and labels on my drugs. I leaned against the wall waiting for his reaction. As he read through his mask fell because it was concentrating on reading, he was reading all of it intently as one of his western novels. As he was reading I got a good glimpse of him, Dimitri was tall as in really tall, around 6'7, he had a lean, well-muscled physique. His chocolate hair which was in a short ponytail was now out and respectively reached his chin. His chocolate brown eyes shone in the lighting of the room, this man was truly handsome and then I realised that I was in _a lot_ of trouble if I stayed here with him around.

After he finished reading he sprung off the bed and walked over to me and grabbed my chin and tilted it up, I felt my heart race _his going to kiss me_.

"You're not going to drop dead on me" he joked

I smiled a full a smile "My calendar says that I'm not allowed to drop dead until this trip is over." I replied, Dimitri smiled half a smile which made my heart flutter even more. And then he realised what he was doing and much to my disappointment moved his fingers and went back to a resigned mask.

He cleared his throat "so you're going to be alright?" He questioned

"I'm going to be fine" I said

"Well tell me if you need absolutely anything, and if you feel like you need a trip to the hospital. I don't care about the money or the injuries just go."

"Don't be worried" I said, and smiled shyly and modestly.

Dimitri smiled a bit again but sadly "Rose, I already am." And with that he left the room and turned around the hallway but I still heard him yell before he went to his room "Bye the way you're staying!"

I took that as a queue to go to sleep, so I went to bed with thoughts tumbling through my mind. As I turned and tumbled in and out of sleep I thought one thing

I never told him that I was most likely going to die; I didn't want him to know that. But I knew that he couldn't fall in love with me at all, not a lot or a little bit. Because I was going to die and cause him pain if he did. But I knew that this was going to be a hard promise to keep, because in the course of one day

_I'd already fallen for him_.

I sighed, nobody told me cancer was going to be easy to battle and this was clearly why.

And then with those thoughts of regret I fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning it was 9:00pm already. I groaned unfashionably and stretched my limbs before getting out of bed. I put on some ripped jeans and a white knit sweater which went with a brown scarf and boats. My hair fell into nice ringlets and a put on a nice smile while trying to find my way to the kitchen. I heard the sound of sizzling and crackling and smelt bacon, I followed the source of the nice smell and found Dimitri over a stove, all dressed and cooking bacon and eggs.

I pulled out one of the two chairs which were in the centre of the room. I looked at Dimitri and he didn't turn around

"I think it's right what they say" I inquired

"And what's that?" Dimitri asked

"That all hallways lead to the heart of the house, the kitchen" I said while licking my lips

Dimitri turned around and smiled a little "I've never heard that saying before" I said

"It's probably an American saying" I said

"No" Dimitri said and smirked "I think your just saying it wrong."

I shrugged, "well it doesn't matter because what I'm saying is right."

I had a good look at the kitchen, it was had wooden floorboards and creamy tiled walls and cupboards. The stove and microwave was in the corner along with the sink. And in the centre of the room were two white chairs and a small table. The light shined through the blinds which were over the sink, it was a very pretty room.

Then Dimitri came walking over to the table with two plates of eggs and bacon.

"You don't have to eat prescribed food or anything?" He asked

I smiled, I might have to avoid certain foods but this was my time to act as a normal human bean.

"No" I lied, I looked at the beautiful bacon and eggs cooked in front of me and shovelled it in. I smiled at Dimitri again

"This sgood" I said "thanks so much." And I was telling the truth it felt as if my tastebuds were frying in fatty goodness.

"It's perfectly fine" He replied.

I finished within minutes, and when Dimitri wasn't looking I stole a piece of his bacon

"You know I saw that right." He said, half smiling and as soon as he said that I shoved it in my mouth. He chuckled; once I finished swallowing I stuck my tongue out at him

"Can't have it back now" I teased

"Of course not, you just can't have dinner back now" he said throwing my own words back at me.

"You wouldn't" I challenged, Dimitri laughed

"You know Rose I don't think you have much of an appetite" he said sarcastically.

I stared at him "Dimitri sarcasm is my thing" I said with a laugh. And then I smiled while thinking that _this had to be one of the best carefree mornings I'd ever had since two years ago. _


	4. Unusual Visits

**I don't do author notes very often because sometimes they are really long and just annoy me. But frankly I would like to thank you guys for supporting me in this story. The amount of support, reviews, follows and favourites are amazing. You guys make writing this story more fun. **

**Please continue reviewing as I do like to hear what you all have to say in this story. Again thank you**

**-Charli xx**

I grabbed Dimitri's hand in excitement not even thinking about what I was doing and dragged him across the streets of Moscow in excitement as I was eager to intake every sight, every smell and every feeling around here. Dimitri looked at my amazement as I gaped open mouthed at all the buildings and sights in amazement. He laughed which sounded like musical bells to my ears

"Rose you're going to live here all year and yet you insist at looking at all the sights on your first day." He chuckled, while half of his face crinkled into a small smile.

"Comrade Yesterday was my first day" I corrected him; I used the hand which I was still holding while dragging him along to spin myself in a circle like a dancer.

"And besides, this place is amazing. I've always lived in the middle of nowhere." I revealed while bouncing with excitement. I walked along beside him in silence as I was turning my head in every direction, looking at absolutely everything. Dimitri grew uncomfortable and kept looking at my hand; I looked down and saw that I was still holding my hand in his. He had made no attempt to move it, but now that the two of us had noticed I removed it and cleared my throat.

"Sorry" I said, blushing ever so slightly.

"Its fine" he dismissed, the tips of his ears turning red.

We walked past many people throughout the city and most were speaking fluently in Russian, so only Dimitri could understand whereas I could interpret small parts of the conversations around me. We eventually reached a shopping centre and it was the biggest thing I had ever seen, it was even bigger than the major hospitals' I went to for cancer treatment.

"Dimitri" I said

"Hmmmm" was his only reply

"Ever since I've had cancer, I've had a bucket list. I was able to cross one thing off from when I was sixteen when I went to Disneyland as my _make a wish_. But I have a real bucket list. And I wanted to go to Russia and live there" I blushed slightly "fall in love and have an actual job, I want to be a police officer. Its simple things that everyday people have the chance to do, I want to be normal." I publicized and smiled.

"You want to be a police officer?" Dimitri asked in disbelief

"Well yes" I said quite defensive

"Well" he said quietly "I am a police officer." I smiled broadly

"Hey look there comrade, the tuff guy and sweet Rose have something in common." I said while grinning.

"Haha" Dimitri said sarcastically but was chuckling.

We passed numerous shops inside the shopping centre when one caught my eye. It was a simple clothes shop that had flannelette cheeked farm tops and jeans and nice jackets. It seemed to be a mainstream clothes shop but for some reason it caught my eye.

"Dimitri" I said and tugged his arm like a seven year old "I wanna go in there"

He looked at the shop for a second and put his mask back on "that doesn't sound like a good idea" he said warningly.

"Please" I begged, Dimitri glanced at me once more then looked away

"Fine" he muttered

Curiosity sparked me on why he didn't want to go in there but I ignored it, he probably didn't want to go into a girls shop. Dimitri followed me in when I heard a name be called by an older Russian man by the counter.

"Dimitri" he called, I kept looking at clothes while Dimitri walked over to the counter. I heard him and the other man speak in rapid Russian. And then the older man left, and once he did I walked up to Dimitri.

"What was that, I thought you didn't want to come here?" I asked quietly

"He's getting Ivan for me"  
"Who's Ivan?" I asked

"Ivan's my best friend and the shop owner's son." Dimitri replied quietly

"So if he's your best friend why didn't you want to come here?" I asked

"He's a bit of a flirt and charmer to women." He said, looking deeply at me. I gave him my best Rose Hathaway smile.

"It's cute that you're concerned for me but I can look after myself just fine." I said in a cold tone Dimitri muttered in Russian then waited for Ivan to arrive. And within seconds of our conversation Ivan did show up.

They both wore big smiles on their faces as they greeted each other and had a bit of a laugh as they spoke to each other in Russian. It was unusual to see Dimitri look so relaxed and happy around someone. I had a good look at Ivan, he was quite tall too and had blond hair in golden curls and icy blue eyes, and he had defined muscles, he was most defiantly attractive.

Then all the sudden Ivan head nodded towards me and made eye contact with me, most defiantly asking a question about me. And then he did the most unexpected thing, Ivan came up to me and kissed my hand.

I watched Dimitri's body turn ridged.

Ivan turned to Dimitri and spoke in English

"This one looks as tough as nails." Ivan said smiling, he was defiantly the player. I made contact with Dimitri's eyes then looked at Ivan. For some reason what he just said annoyed me.

"Oh I am" I said with an attitude "but what why don't you actually talk to me first and find out instead of making comments about me, in front of me without even bothering to talk to me." I said challengingly with boldness. Dimitri almost sagged in relief that I hadn't melted all over him. And Ivan, well Ivan outright laughed. And then he looked me in the eyes

"Well then miss, I like your attitude." He said in a sarcastic solemn voice

"Thank you" I replied "but you should treat your women with more respect." I smiled tightly as I said that.

Ivan looked at Dimitri "so this girl is your roommate?" He asked in English and Dimitri replied swiftly and simply

"Yes" and then Ivan chuckled a little more

"You're gonna a hard time, keeping control when she's around." He said with a sly smirk.

And I don't think that he realised that with the tables turned it was going to be hard for me to keep my control too.


	5. I Would Have Kissed You'

As the three weeks progressed, the tenseness and awkwardness faded. Dimitri and I became more familiar to each other in the days that he had off from work. I was really jealous of his position as a police officer, he was allowed to work and leave a normal life as I was not. And that actually caused one of our arguments.

After about two weeks and a half after I had come, I had noticed a club which was three blocks away from our apartment. At about 9:30pm I came out of my bedroom in one of my old dresses I had when I was sixteen, yet because I hadn't really grown since then; it fit me perfectly. It was a red dress which showed my cleavage clearly, it covered up to mid thighs and had see-through patches which ran up my thigh and skimmed the top of my breasts. It was designed to be sleeveless but I had soon a fishnet stocking sleeve over my arm. To go with the look I curled my hair in pretty ringlets and made my eyes pop out and look smoky, to finish the look was black pumps and red full lipstick.

I walked out the door hoping to miss Dimitri by twenty minutes so that he wouldn't try stopping me from having a bit of fun. But once I opened the door, Dimitri's handsome guarded face met mine. At first he saw my face, full of makeup and then he got the hitch and looked at my body. His guarded face fell unintentionally as I had my hands on my hips and lips pursed, his face showed shock. Dimitri despite being a gentleman still had the instincts of an ordinary boy and I realised that he had been staring at me for too long. I wanted to clear my throat and say something like 'hey Dimitri my eyes are up here'. But I didn't because to be honest, I liked the attention he was giving me.

"Hey comrade" I said "Like something you see?" I asked, Dimitri looked at me and licked his lips. And then his and my eyes widened at what he just did. He cleared his throat

"Rose where are you going?" He asked in a strained voice

"Out clubbing" I said plainly

"You're not dressed appropriately, I will not allow it; stay here instead." He said protectively; as if he could single handily kill any man who came in fifty mile radius of me. Hell Dimitri was so unpredictable at times that I wouldn't be surprised if he did.

I sighed in a dramatic manner "you're not my father" I stated

"But I am your Land Lord who can have every concern of his roommate sleeping on _other people's beds_." Dimitri hissed and that stung like a slap in the face

"Well Dimitri" I said irritably "I haven't done anything like this since I was sixteen. I haven't lived or led a normal life; I couldn't go to house parties, or clubs, or even sleepovers because I was stuck on an I.V drip for two years of my life and undergoing major surgery. So if you don't mind me being an independent adult I shall leave now." And with that I slammed the door and left.

I walked on my own to the club and I knew that I wouldn't need directions as when I got one block away from it I could hear the music pounding. I followed the trail of the music to the club, and once I got there I saw the big line of people trying to get in. The bouncer looked busy arguing with a minor trying to get in so when he wasn't looking, I slipped past him. And once I got in I shielded my eyes from the bright strobe lights. I tried to shuffle past all the waves of grinding people. The room smelled like a mixture of cheap perfume, alcohol and sweat; I was walking over to the bar because I knew that if I were to dance with some of these people I would've had to of had at least 2 or 3 drinks. I looked at their slurring movements and the way they draped over each other as if they were ornaments and the other person was their Christmas tree. _Make those three very strong drinks_.

My heart rate pumped as the music beating and strobe lights set a fire of adrenaline inside of me. When I walked over to the bar I saw a man who was about 22 years old stop in front of me and put his arm around me. He had chestnut brown hair that was styled messily as if he had just rolled out of bed; he had deep sea green eyes. He stood at about six feet almost towering of me; he was pale and was suitable as a model with his wardrobe choice which consisted of designer brands. He smelt of clove cigarettes and when he whispered in my ear, I smelt alcohol on his breath. He noticed that I wasn't Russian and came up to me and spoke to me in English, he was American as well.

"Wanna get a drink gorgeous, I'll pay" He said lazily with an ideal American southern accent, I raised a perfectly manicured fingernail onto my lip as if I were thinking.

"Will you now?" I asked,

"Yes, and I'll get you more after that." He said while raising an eyebrow, I smiled.

"Okay" He kept his arm slung around me as we walked over to the bar.

"Two shots, any kind I don't care" he stated to the bartender, within seconds I had a shot in my hand and tipped it up and swallowed it whole before smiling.

The man grinned at me, "I thought I'd like you" he growled, I retuned the smirk

"I'm Rose" I shouted over the music

"A gorgeous name for a gorgeous woman" He flirted, and I smiled

"I'm Adrian" He half shouted

I copied what he said "A handsome name for a handsome man." He chuckled at that.

Slowly I got more and more drinks; I think I had drunk around about 6 shots. I was barley standing and brought Adrian over to the dance floor in a drunken state. I danced and was so far past drunk that I didn't care what I was doing, I just knew that it was fun. The strobe lights were brighter and prettier and the music was amazing to my ears, I moved my hips to the time of the complex rhythm. Adrian himself wasn't that sober either but was enjoying this too. I grinded against Adrian and put my arms behind me and around Adrian's neck. I giggled and kept moving and dancing with Adrian, I probably couldn't walk but I didn't care as long as I could dance with this gorgeous man.

And then all the sudden a man came up to me and grabbed me by the arm, a man who wasn't Adrian. I looked up and saw a very pissed off Russian staring at me.

"Adrian" he said curtly, making one word full of hatred

Adrian did the same "Dimitri"

"I'm taking my roommate home now." He said before trying to drag me off. I pulled myself away from Dimitri and flung myself to Adrian.

"You're not my father!" I yelled, repeating our argument from earlier. Dimitri rolled his eyes and didn't say anything but flung me over his shoulder as if I weighed nothing. And within seconds we were in his car and then he carried me through the front door. I shook my feet and got rid of the pumps which I had on. Dimitri then put me down on his bed in his bedroom and flung some clothes at me.

"Get changed, he said briskly; looking almost disgusted. I looked at the clothes I was given

"But these are yours" I said mumbling

"Well you'll make a mess of your own clothes so you're wearing mine instead." He snapped, he sounded like an avenging, very pissed off Russian angel. Dimitri left the room and waited by the shut door and once I was done I called him in. And then he tried to pick me up and carry me to his room. I didn't want to be picked up though.

"Dimitttrriiii!" I screamed "I can walk on my ownnn." I said drowsily, Dimitri looked at me for a second then put me down. I got up and tried to walk but for some reason the room didn't like me and decided to spin so I fell down. Dimitri sighed and picked me up bridal style to my room. I looked at Dimitri and decided that he looked amazing tonight, like a god. _Dimitri the god, _I chuckled at the thought.

"What's so funny Rose?" He asked, I looked at Dimitri and whispered in his ear very quietly

"Kiss me" I whispered, Dimitri looked at me taken aback for a second and then put up his mask

"No Rose your drunk."  
"Kiss me" I repeated, this time more boldly

"No" he said finalising what he had to say. Tears brimmed in my eyes

"You don't want to kiss me?" I asked quietly

"No Rose your drunk" he said gently

"You don't think I'm pretty" I whimpered because for some reason that made me sad. I wanted to kiss Dimitri but he didn't want to kiss me and he didn't want to kiss me because I wasn't pretty enough.

Dimitri looked at me really uncomfortably, "Rose you're the prettiest women I have ever seen" he said breathlessly trying to calm me. "But I can't kiss you because you're drunk."

Then we got to my room and Dimitri softly put me down on my bed and tucked me in.

"You should have kissed me" I mumbled in a drunken slumber, Dimitri looked at me and smiled.

"I would've kissed you if you had of asked me that and you weren't drunk." He said almost inaudibly, his eyes widened at what he said and he quickly got up and left but before he did I caught two more words.

"_Goodnight Rose_."


	6. It's certainly not a date

I woke up to the blaring alarm which sounded ten times louder than it generally did. I groaned and turned it off and looked at the time. And then I shot up out of bed

"Ohhhh, I should not have done that." I muttered, I looked at the time again, it said it was 1:00 in the afternoon. I brushed my hair and it fell into curled ringlets, I had to style it to do that. I was wearing Dimitri's clothes, in confusion I looked in the mirror and saw that I had makeup all over my face, as in clubbing makeup. Clubbing.

I groaned after I remembered a recap of last night. Adrian, shots, short dresses, grinding, drunk, making myself a fool in front of Dimitri.

_Dimitri_

I had asked Dimitri last night to kiss me, and he'd declined and said that I was drunk. Thank god that man was a gentleman. But I had a feeling that maybe we would now go back to phase one, the awkward stage. I shuffled my way into the kitchen and got a glass of water, I cringed at how bright the lighting was. I heard a chuckle and saw Dimitri behind me as I took a sip of water, he was holding a packet of painkillers in his hand.

"Do you want these?" Dimitri asked, his voice soft and Russian accent thick; I think he knew what a real hangover felt like.

"Yes please" I croaked.

Dimitri chuckled while handing them to me, "I see you like my clothes" He said making a joke.

And then it hit me like a tidal wave. I asked Dimitri to kiss me, and then almost cried because I thought he didn't think I was pretty. Then he stated that I was the prettiest woman that he had ever seen. And then, and then

"_I would've kissed you if you had of asked me that and you weren't drunk."_ The words replayed in my mind, Dimitri had said that to me last night, when he thought that I was too drunk to remember what he had stated. And then the sound of a shattering glass caught my attention. The glass I held had slipped from my hand and broke, Dimitri was by my side in seconds and got me sitting in a chair before kneeling before me.

"What's wrong Rose?" He asked, his voice full of worry

"Do you need your tablets? Is the hangover out of hand? I can get you to the hospital if you like."

As Dimitri was worrying I just stared into his chocolate eyes which were luring me in with their beauty. And as I pulled myself out of the deep vortex which were his eyes I managed to say a few words.

"I'm fine, just had a slip up" I replied, I saw Dimitri sigh from visible relief.

Dimitri looked at me and his face was relieved, I graciously took the tablets and stayed in bed until four in the afternoon. My hangover soon disappeared and I was relieved. Once I walked out into the kitchen Dimitri was sitting there in the chair reading a Russian novel which I bet my life was a Western.

Dimitri looked at me funnily for a second and muttered something in Russian.

"What?" I asked

"I need to go into town and get some dinner for us tonight." He said gruffly

"Oh, no" I stated, "I'll take the two of us out to dinner and it'll be my treat. It'll be a thanks-for-letting-me-stay-here-and-saving-my-ass -last-night dinner." Dimitri chuckled

"I couldn't" he replied

"I'll refuse to eat tonight unless I pay for the two of us." I challenged, Dimitri looked at me and sighed

"Oh Roza" he chuckled deeply, his voice thick with his Russian accent I loved.

"Roza?" I asked

"It's the Russian nickname for Rose" He said while the corner of his mouth crinkled into a small smile.

I tried to arch my eyebrow but couldn't

Dimitri smiled at my failed attempt

"I'll take that as a yes." I said

"Okay then" he said smiling.

Although it wasn't a completely formal event I knew I still had to look nice. I got into a black sweater with a V-neck, it suited with the blue jeans I wore and brown straightened hair. When I got into the kitchen I saw Dimitri wearing some black jeans and a plain white shirt, with his face clean and his chocolate hair tied up with the nape of his neck just like I loved it. To make it better he was wearing his strong smelling cologne.  
And then Dimitri did the gentleman act, he linked his arm into mine. I gave him a man eater smile despite the fact that my head was racing a million miles an hour. Without saying a word we walked in silence outside of the apartment. My head was pounding in adrenaline, and my palms were sweating nervously.

We took the public transport and all the seats were taken but once I came in half a dozen men offered me their seat.

"_Spaseeba_" I said politely thanking the man I was closest to as I sat in his previous seat as he stood in the tram. Dimitri hovered over me, as if he were scared that I would disappear from his sight. It was an uneventful ride but I kept my back stiff and tense, I didn't know this place. I don't know how long it took, but it took long enough for me to be feeling awkward until we got off.

Once we got off and started walking throughout the busy streets, Dimitri chuckled at me

"You looked very uncomfortable Roza" He smirked, it was a cute smirk though; not a cocky one.

"Well" I said trying to defend myself with a cheeky grin "I haven't been that close to people since…" I trailed off, I meant that Abe protected me and I wasn't allowed around many people. I was never allowed on public transport since we found out, suddenly my grin disappeared.

I cleared my throat "it's been a long time" I corrected.

After a bit more silence and walking I looked at Dimitri,

"My feet hurtttt" I complained while skidding my feet across the ground.

Dimitri chuckled at my childishness, "We're almost there Roza" he said.

And he was right, we got there in less than five minutes after he said that. It looked like a simple restaurant, but when I went in it looked absolutely amazing. It had a velvet carpet which squished nicely against thin boots. The walls were tiled with black and white, the tables were mahogany and had blue table cloths with candles on it. At the front of the restaurant was a stage which I had no doubt that they were used for entertainment. But the roof was what was amazing, it was transparent glass and when you looked through it, you saw a midnight blue sky which had diamond shaped stars in the sky. I gaped at it, it looked absolutely amazing.

As I was looking around Dimitri linked his arm in mine again and escorted me to my table. He pulled a chair out for me and once I sat he did a gallant bow. My breath hitched unintentionally. A younger man came out handed us the menus which snapped me out of my little momentary daydream, thank god. The man looked down at the diamond ring I had on my finger. He said something to Dimitri in Russian and Dimitri laughed and looked uncomfortably at me, moments later the man left, taking our menus with him.

"What did he say to you?" I asked generally curious, Dimitri looked at me blushing slightly. I grinned at him. "It mustn't have been that bad." I stated, Dimitri looked at me again

"He looked at the ring on your finger and thought that we were going to get married and he tried to congratulate us." I laughed, but felt uneasy

"In case you thought that we were getting engaged" I said dramatically placing a hand over my heart, "we're not" Dimitri smiled but there was some kind of pain flashing in the corner of his eyes.

"Anyway" I stated, trying to blur that small blaze of pain in his eyes. "This is my mother's ring, Abe found it in her draw, after she disappeared. He gave it to me the day I left to go to Russia, I didn't even know I had it." I said smiling as I relived the memory, I was in tears when he gave me something so precious to him, and Dimitri returned the smile. And then I actually remembered,  
"Where's our menus?" I asked

"I ordered for you" Dimitri replied, "I got you the same as me, the famous Beef Stroganov around here." He said smiling, I gave him a sly smile. It was awkward but comfortable at the same time. We just talked until we got the food and even then we still talked. Happiness radiated off the two of us as we enjoyed our good company and vibes, and amazing food.  
For the tenth time I looked at Dimitri and moaned as I swallowed the amazing food, "this is so amazing!" I said in-between bites and within minutes I was finished and so was Dimitri.

Dimitri laughed at me the whole way through and how I 'strangely praised the food.' And then we got the bill, as soon as I read it my face dropped. I looked at my cash, I was $30 off how much I needed to pay, I didn't realise that the food was that expensive. I looked at Dimitri embarrassed, I decided not to tell him. I spent a moment pondering in my own thoughts when I had an idea.

"Can I please be excused for a moment?" I asked, Dimitri's reply was

"Of course" I walked over to where the first waiter I saw was. I asked the question and within seconds I found myself on the stage sitting down on a Piano chair slowly getting myself ready. For Dimitri to find me up there made his expression priceless, to say that he was incredibly surprised was an understatement.

I spoke to the crowd through the microphone set up for me in what Russian I knew. The words passed through my lips

"Hi" I said stiffly, I caught the crowd's attention "I am tonight's entertainment and I am going to sing the song 'Say something'. I said while smiling

_Say something, I'm giving up on you  
I'll be the one, if you want me to  
Anywhere I would've followed you  
Say something, I'm giving up on you _

My voice had caught everyone's attention, especially since I was singing in another language. My voice was flowing out in a melodic tune, my piano skills were rough as I hadn't played in a long time. But the tune was still fresh in my mind.

_And I am feeling so small  
it was over my head  
I know nothing at all_

Dimitri looked at me while smiling, I was really hoping that I was doing all right. I had promised the manager that if I didn't do well I would never come here again. My heart swelled at the sight of Dimitri's proud face.  
_  
_

_And I will stumble and fall  
I'm still learning to love  
Just starting to crawl_

And then it was just me and the piano, nothing else mattered in the world. Time stopped.

_Say something, I'm giving up on you  
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you  
anywhere I would've followed you  
Say something, I'm giving up on you_

And I will swallow my pride  
You're the one that I love  
And I'm saying goodbye

__Memories came flooding back to me. When I snuck into the music room whilst meant to be doing chemotherapy but instead played my piano and sang, whenever I missed my mother. The concerts I played at before I had leukaemia._  
_

_Say something, I'm giving up on you  
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you  
And anywhere I would've followed you  
Say something, I'm giving up on you_

_Say something, I'm giving up on you  
Say something..._

I was breathless as I played the piano, lost in my own world. But it was slowly ending, and then I let the last note drop, echoing around the room.

When I looked at the crowd I didn't know what to expect.

**Please R&R just maybe, to tell me what you think.**


	7. Ruined

The crowd erupted into cheers and a smile slowly broke out into my face. I said my thanks and walked over to the manager who was leaning against one of the walls, his gaze on me with a smug smile on his face. The fact that I was becoming fluent in Russian from Dimitri's lessons was the only reason that I didn't get given to the cops straight away.

"Did it go well?" I asked translating to Russian, the man's smile grew.

"Very well" he replied, "you have earned your keep and there is no need to press charges." I smiled at that

"Thank you sir" I said graciously.

I walked back over to the table and Dimitri's awestruck face.

"Why did you do that?" He asked in disbelief.

"I didn't have enough money, I had to earn my keep or I'd be in a jail cell for the night. I struck a bargain with the owner, I said I would perform tonight as entertainment. If I failed, I wasn't allowed here ever again and I had a big bill to pay, if I did well I didn't have to pay anything." I replied, Dimitri looked at me mesmerized and fascinated for a second and then remembered his manners.

"You have a beautiful voice" he said quietly and slightly blushing at the compliment he gave. "It sounded like silk velvet wrapping itself around your vocal cords" he went on, "like dripping honey or an angel singing" he mused while gazing intently at me. Dimitri's eyes widened and my heart was beating erratically fast. This was far beyond flirting in Dimitri's books because he never complimented so vividly, I knew that and the fact that he had stated this to me meant a lot on my own script.

He cleared his throat "where did you learn how to sing like that?" He asked shyly while trying to shift the conversation, I smiled broadly.

"The days before I was diagnosed I used to sing at concerts, in competitions, at gigs." I said still grinning about the thought "when I was diagnosed, I thought it was over, I didn't sing for months." As I was explaining I drummed my fingers against the corner of the table as if I were still playing the piano. "But one day, I noticed a piano in one of entertaining rooms of the hospital that no one went into. I was meant to have chemotherapy that day but instead I sat there and played and played and played. The only thing I heard for seventeen hours was the sound of a piano and my own voice." I smirked, "when they found me their anger was so indescribable and so was the punishment but it was always, _always _worth it." I said passionately with a smile on my face. Dimitri smiled as he imagined the scenario.

"What's your family like?" I asked, wanting to find out things about the big bad Russian jailor.

"I love my family it's absolutely amazing" he said his eyes twinkling

"I grew up with just ladies in the house and me." He said chuckling "I was always the dress up model, but I didn't mind because it was always worth seeing them happy." He said, "But it doesn't mean that I didn't pout when I was having photos taken of me in dresses." I chuckled at the thought of a pouting, small Dimitri in a pink, fairy princess' dress.

Dimitri continued "I have three sisters, a mother and a grandmother whom I would protect with my life. I now have a niece and nephew and a new one on the way." He said, his lips curving up slightly and eyes sparkling affectionately. I was amazed at what an amazing family he had, all love and protectiveness over his siblings. I would have killed to be in his place.

"What about you?" he asked

I just sighed and looked at him "I don't have that much luck with family." I said, Dimitri got the picture and left it. I looked at Dimitri and smiled

"Thank you" I said out of the blue

"What for?" Dimitri asked startled

"For making my time here so far incredibly enjoyable. I have already crossed one thing off on my bucket list." I really wanted to say that I had covered two things of my bucket list in the past three weeks and that not only did I move to Russia but I had also managed to fall in love. But I realised that he'd have to have feelings for me to check it off. I coughed and coughed again, wondering what was happening I looked at Dimitri.

"May I please excuse myself?" I asked

"You're not going to start singing again?" He asked while chuckling

"No" I said not even realising I was smiling "I actually need to use the restroom" I stated.

"Well then" Dimitri said, "be my guest."

I made my way over, only being able to tell the difference between the two toilets because of the female and male logos on them. And once I got in there I started coughing and coughing. I was unable to stop. I started to sink to the ground as I knew that I was having difficulty in breathing. I just kept coughing and gasping, I could breathe but not enough to satisfy my lungs. I kept trying to breathe deep breaths but they were always interrupted by coughing. I was now gagging on air and lying on my side in recovery position just like I was taught.

My brain was screaming and I kept trying to yell something out, trying to catch someone's attention. But I couldn't, all that came out was a strange strangled sound. At first I wasn't trying to yell anything but then I caught myself trying to catch someone's name, Dimitri.

Why did I always muck up like this? I had such an amazing night so far but like usual I managed to screw it one way another. Regret clouded my mind in my moment of death, suffocation wrapping itself around me like a blanket. But then it all stopped, a whole bunch of air was inhaled in my lungs and I sunk in relief, turning onto my back and trying to catch my breathing. I knew this wasn't a normal occurrence this had something to do with my leukaemia, it had to. Interrupting my thoughts, I felt something dribble down my chin, it had a watery yet sticky substance. I coughed one last time into my hand. But then I felt the substance also over my fingers. I moved my fingers and looked at what was on them. My heart was beating irregularly and my breathing became uneven.

All over my fingers from when I coughed on it.

_Was blood_.


	8. I Pray For My Roza

You know how they say that people can become paralysed with fear? Well I have figured out that most times it is physically impossible to do so. When you are paralysed with fear you have to be scared, to be scared your heart has to beating incredibly fast and your brain must be working in overdrive with millions of thoughts racing in your head; most of those thoughts are screaming '_run_'. Not only that but with the course of adrenaline flowing through your body it would be hard and almost impossible to stay in one spot without even having a single thought of bolting. Any objections to my observations? No I didn't think so.

Right now I was not paralysed in fear because if I was, like most real occurrences I would have run trying to get to Dimitri. But I was literally paralysed, trapped in my body absolutely unable to move a limb. I was paralysed against my own will. I tried to make a sound but my throat closed over and then I threw up, it was all blood and undigested food which I had just had.

_The leukaemia, it's caught up to me; I am going to die. Rosemarie Hathaway was going to die on a cold bathroom floor surrounded in her own blood and vomit_ _and there would be nothing she would be able to do to stop it._

I tried to make another sound, I threw up again unsuccessfully. But I had already thrown up my dinner and any food I had, so more blood just surrounded me. I tried to move my body but it was burning and I felt as if my legs, arms, hands and feet were all bound together by rope. I didn't want to yell anymore, it felt as if my throat was on fire and vomiting it was draining all my energy. But I still yelled, it came out unsuccessfully again, it probably looked like I had been murdered with all the blood surrounding me. I made an uncomfortable sound and it vibrated against my throat and I heard it.

Who knew a simple squeak could give someone all the hope in the world? That a simple squeak of a sound could save one's life? I certainly did not up until now. But once I made that one simple sound, I lay on my backside with blood and vomit pooling around my not moving body and started to make louder and louder noises. And once I was able to sound make a strangled like sound I started screaming. I just kept screaming bloody murder at the top of my lungs. I needed help; I had to go to hospital. I was holding on for dear life, I wouldn't look up or down in fear for my life. I just had to hold on for tonight.

Within minutes I vaguely heard dozens of people surround around the door and others burst in to have a look at the commotion. As quick as they came in they were swarmed by paramedics and police officers telling them to leave. So many people were around me, crowding around my face and body; inspecting me as if I were a crime scene. Although I noticed one person had not left, _Dimitri_. He was in his Police Uniform, trying to get to me. And once he did he knelt by me and held my hand.

"I'm so sorry Roza, I couldn't get to you. They wouldn't let me in; I had to change into spare uniform I kept in my bag so that I was allowed to see you. I know I should have come earlier. _I am so sorry_." Dimitri said, his voice was filled with heartbreak. And then I realised that he had heard me scream his name the whole time, trying to get him to reach me. But the Officers had held him back. I looked at Dimitri and smiled weakly

"It's all good" I mumbled quietly. "Could you get them to take me to hospital?" I asked, Dimitri's eyes were suddenly clouded with what I could tell were dozens of thoughts. He turned into commander mode and started to bark out orders in Russian, I had come to learn most of the language. And understood that he was ordering them to take me to the hospital _right now_. And as soon as he said that I was uploaded into a stretcher, the only thing that comforted me as I slipped in and out of consciousness was Dimitri's warm hand that was still in mine.

When I woke up my eyes were crusted together from what felt like tiredness but I knew better it was because of sheer exhaustion. When I managed to blink and peel my eyes open I looked at my surroundings. It had white walls, floors, curtains, beds and ceiling. I knew that it was sick that I felt like I was at home. I didn't feel like home but I lived in it long enough to say that it was where I lived. It was a hospital. And when I looked in the corner of the room I saw a man kneeling on the floor nearest to my bed. His head was bowed and his hands were clasped together as if he were making a prayer. I looked closer at him and realised that this man was actually praying. His words were speaking in rapid Russian and in a quite murmur but I was able to make out what he was saying.

"_Please let my Roza survive to live another day. For me to cherish her as one before death, no matter how early or late. She does not deserve a life like this, not a life of pain. I would rather me face it then her. Not an innocent woman who has already suffered enough heartbreak. If you cannot comprehend what I'm saying, I am asking for Roza to live; for you to give her the life she deserves_."

I acted as if I were still asleep, as I didn't have tears rolling down my cheeks as he made a silent prayer to keep me alive.  
As if I wouldn't wish for the same thing upon me if we had switched roles.

As if I deserved a better life than him. The most amazing man I had ever met.

As if I didn't have feelings for him.

But I knew better, this amazing man known as Dimitri Belikov deserved better than a girl who would most likely die on him. Because Dimitri Belikov did not deserve heartbreak.

And if I had heartbreak in the process of keeping him happy, then I would accept heartbreak.

_Our Love Was Black And White, but we were two souls that could never reach._

And then I feel into a deep dark slumber. A sleep which I had a feeling would last a long time whether I liked it or not.


	9. Time has caught up

I did end up waking up. I woke up from a dark and painful slumber though, so I don't think you could call it a 'sleep'. When I woke up Dimitri was curled up in a ball on the chair, he was still in new clothes, a grey shirt and jeans. He looked peaceful when he slept, his face wasn't guarded and his eyes were closed but fluttering and his breathing was even. But when I looked at him he had an unshaven beard. For the past few weeks I'd been with him he always had a shaved beard. How long had I been here for? I looked around the room to find almost everything plugged into me in one way or another. I had to find answers and I knew how to get them

_It was time to go exploring_.

I looked at the two needles in my veins, one was for blood and the other was connected as my I.V drip. I had done this before when I wanted to get away, but I was grinding in anticipation; I may have done it but I hadn't done it in a long time. I looked at the I.V drip needle and made a small sound before grabbing the needle and pulling it out. I let out a sharp exhale; I didn't remember it hurting this much. Without missing a beat I pulled out the needle which drew my blood. Blood stained all over the bed sheets so I used the bed sheet to cover it up for now, trying to remember to breathe. I slowly pulled off the stickers around my chest to monitor my heart beat.

"Jesus, this hurts like a bitch." I muttered while grinding my teeth and it was true it damn well did. It took me a second to realise that I muttered it in Russian. I smiled to myself; Dimitri's lessons had taken its toll on me. Once I got up I noticed a wheelchair and a walking stick by my bed. I chose the walking stick. I walked over to the end of my bed and saw a piece of paper sitting in a clip board at the end of the bed. This ought to tell me how long I have been out for, but I remembered I couldn't read Russian. It looked like I was going to have to ask for answers, but Dimitri looked exhausted; I was going to leave him to sleep.

The walking after being unconscious didn't ache like most people said they do. But I could tell that they had been asleep for a long time as I had to adjust walking. I had the cane in my hand in case I needed support. I slowly walked around the hallways tugging along my hospital gown. The hallways were mostly quiet and I heard the sounds of people crying. And when I did I thought of the airport as well

_The hallways of a hospital have heard my prayers than churches. Airports have seen more sincere kisses than marriage ceremonies_.

I could tell though by the sounds of the sobs that they were desperate. I remembered Dimitri kneeling and praying on the ground for me to survive. I was in my own thoughts, while waltzing around the empty halls at night. When I bumped into a man holding food for a visitor which was in a paper bag. An unexpected man, _Ivan_. He looked so surprised to see me awake, he stumbled several step back, gasping for breath and I was able to hear him repeat the same words over and over.

"Holy shit." Was Ivan's repeated words.

"Ivan?" I asked surprised to see him. "What's going on?" I asked, forgetting to speak English. But it didn't matter to Ivan; he spoke Russian considering he was. But I knew that it wouldn't have mattered if I spoke Chinese right now he was trying to understand what was going on.

"Rose?" He asked quietly. "You're awake…." He stated.

"No, I'm dead" I replied sarcastically, seriously not in the mood. My voice croaked as if I had just opened it up. "Can we sit down?" I asked, "I need to sit."

"Okay" Ivan said breathlessly, and slowly put the pieces together. I noticed the difference between Dimitri and Ivan, other than the obvious ones. Dimitri was guarded all the time, never to show anything other than his façade unless he really trusted you. Whereas Ivan was an open book, he didn't mind the fact that you could read the emotions on his face.

"Does Dimitri know you're up?" Asked Ivan

"No his asleep, I didn't want to wake him up." I replied smoothly.

"Did the nurses let you out?" He asked, I frowned at him

"I took everything out of myself, I just woke up then and wanted to wander; I let myself out." I said, slightly agitated.

"Can I have your food?" I asked, eyeing the brown paper bag which was wafting wonderful mouth-watering smells over my way.

Ivan ignored the question. "How long do you think you were asleep for?" He asked, I groaned.  
"What is this twenty questions?" I asked with some attitude.

"If you answer I'll give you the food." Ivan bargained.

I let out a long and slow exhale which sounded like a sigh as I tried to figure it out. My brain and I really did not want to do maths right now.

"Three days…." I estimated. Ivan threw the bag at me and I didn't even look at what I was eating I just scoffed down whatever the hell it was. I think it was a burger but that was irrelevant. I scoffed down some fries while Ivan raised his eyebrow at me.

"Okay five." I guessed again. Ivan looked at me uncomfortably as if he didn't really want to tell me.

"Rose" He said uneasily, "you were asleep for three weeks, you were in a coma."

I didn't know how to react to that, so I just closed your eyes, I didn't want Ivan to see me cry.

"I have been diagnosed again haven't I?" I asked, "I have relapsed I have leukaemia don't I?" I stated almost yelling. _Please say no, please say no, please say no, please say no_.

Ivan said it straight out, straight to the basics. I knew that I did, I just needed reassuring.

"No" _Wait what?_


	10. A Suprise

**This is the tenth chapter, so as a little gift I have something in store. I'm not going to say anymore or I'll spill the big surprise. **

**Charli xx**

"But how?" I stuttered, I mean it wasn't that I wasn't grateful, but this was big news to me. Ian just raised his eyebrow at me.

"Did you have cancer?" He asked, "I thought that you had a virus, that's what Dimitri told me." I just stared at him; Dimitri had lied to his best friend and said that I had a virus. It was sweet, but it was unbelievable that Ivan believed that a virus had knocked me into a coma. But right now that was irrelevant; I had to get answers from Dimitri. He would be the only one who would understand everything. But then I heard something strange

"Roza!" Came out a strangled cry "Roza!" they called out again, someone had noticed that I was gone no doubt and had come looking for me.

**Dimitri's P.O.V -**

For the past few days my Roza had been connected to machines that were all that was keeping her alive I believed. To hear her call out my name as blood pooled around her unmoving body. It almost killed me and I know that it dissected my heart to shreds. But having my heart dissected into small shreds physically would have hurt less than the heavy weight I felt. I went to work every day for the past three weeks and came straight back to the hospital, I had a big duffel bag with me so that I wouldn't have to go back to my apartment. I slept by her day and night, playing with her hair while I rested by her bed until I went to sleep. I told Ivan that she had a virus because no doubt if she were awake she wouldn't have wanted me to tell him about her leukaemia.

I knew it, _I loved her_. I couldn't help it and I really didn't want to. My head was telling not to and I didn't want to but my heart, the way it fluttered or swelled when I saw her; it was inevitable. I hated me for it, but I didn't hate myself for liking her. I hated the way I still kept my guardian mask on around her, I hated the way my voice went strained when just looking at her, I hated the way I ate myself up on the inside and I hated the way that no matter how many times I could try to travel back in time and save her and I knew I still wouldn't. But one thing I didn't hate was my Roza.

I didn't know if she really liked me but the night she asked me to kiss her, I couldn't forget it. She looked amazing in her dress; her lips were sugar coated in little crystals of flavoured lip gloss, her hair gorgeously falling around her facial frame. It took every ounce of self-control not to kiss her then and there. Yes, I was falling in love with Rosemarie Hathaway but she could never know it. She would move back to America and she had too much going on in her life to ever fall in love with me. I would do anything to see that passionate gaze of hers look at me one last time. Everything was done, I already loved her.

When I woke up in exactly the 21st day of her absence, I noticed that she was not lying in her bed next to me. A billion thoughts raced in my mind.

Was she in surgery?  
Did they need to treat her?

Could she have even been transported back to America?

What if she died overnight?

I didn't need to wipe the sleep from my eyes. The wave of panic had done that for me. I got up and put on my jacket and started to pace down each of the corridors.

"Roza?" I let out a strangled questioning cry again, that was the seventh time I had said it and yet there was still no response.

"Roza!" I yelled, she must be gone, she had to have been. She was not next to me when I woke up and I have screamed her name up and down, I still hadn't found her. And then I heard it, a tingling musical, and a three syllable word.

"Dimitri?" The way the female had said it was questioning as if she couldn't believe it was me. I turned around to see what I least expected to see in the world. Who knew that one sight could lift up every weight in your heart? Every fibre of my being, my waiting clicked into place.

Because who I saw was someone with passionate eyes gazing at me with tears of happiness, someone who was wide awake.

_It was my Roza_.

**Rose's P.O.V -**

When I turned around I saw a beautiful sight. Despite the fact that his brown eyes were dilated with fear, he was still beautiful. When he heard my voice his chocolate hair turned and framed around his face hanging by his chin. Who I saw

_Was my Dimitri_.

I didn't say anything after I saw him and neither did he, our gaze was only on each other's eyes. And then without saying anything I ran up to Dimitri's stone figure and gave him a massive hug. The feeling of me in his warm arms was amazing, pure bliss, as if I belonged there. I didn't say anything but neither did he. The fact that we knew that we were in each other's arms was enough. I was alive and I was well. But wouldn't have ever been as rewarding as this, hugging Dimitri. Dimitri stroked my hair, his façade for once cracking,

"Roza" he whispered

"I am so sorry." He said again, "so very sorry" he repeated.

"Dimitri can I talk to you and ask some questions?" I asked, we let go and noticed that Ivan had disappeared. I walked Dimitri outside the doors and outside into the rain, I didn't mind getting wet and neither did he, no one would overhear our conversation against the rain.

"Dimitri can you just explain everything?" I asked, Dimitri looked at me stunned, his face as he remembered why I was here. He turned to a very pissed off looking Russian.

"You didn't eat the right foods; you told me you didn't have a diet!" He barked out barley managing to string the words together, "you barley took any tablets, I assumed that it was normal. But your body without your diet and tablets it didn't have enough strength to battle the leukaemia, you almost had a relapse!" He started booming like he did when I was a drug addict, the feeling of happiness and relief had disappeared now. The fact that it was pouring down rain and I could hear him as clear as day was saying that he was yelling really loud. The happiness had gone and I realised that while I had been in a coma he had been scared, scared that I would die on his hands.

"Dimitri, I survived and that's all that mattered!" I screamed "I'll take my tablets and eat the right food I'll be perfectly fine!" I yelled back

"No Roza it's not perfectly fine, it's not perfectly fine when I sit by your side for three weeks, it's not perfectly fine when I live off the food Ivan has to give me because I refuse to leave your side, and it's not perfectly fine when I thought that I was going to LOSE YOU!" Dimitri yelled, his voice growing by each word, increasing the level of passion.

"Dimitri, I don't even have anything to live for!" I screamed

I had stated what I thought. I had cancer I didn't have long left to live, I couldn't let my feelings get in the way of the fact that if I do fall in love with him I would die and leave him heartbroken. I looked at Dimitri, he was shaking but then his eyes turned passionate, and they turned to chocolate that bored into mine. Every ounce of self-control in him snapped, the strings inside him broke. Dimitri advanced on me in the rain his hair plastering to his face and his clothes completely saturated. I didn't know what Dimitri was doing, was he going to walk straight past me, give me another hug, even slap me? Every thought snapped back into perspective as I felt damp lips on mine. Dimitri lost control of his emotions.

_Dimitri kissed me_.

Warmth spread through my body down to my toes, my heart fluttered and I felt his warm beautiful lips upon mine. I didn't know how to respond but I put my arms around his neck and he grabbed my waist pulling me in closer. This was pure bliss; it felt like heaven, it felt _so right_ as his body moulded into mine. I deepened our kiss; I never wanted this to end. This feeling, I loved Dimitri and Dimitri loved me, facing our real emotions, I never knew it felt so amazing. This wasn't an ordinary kiss; this was a kiss adults looked away from, the kind of kiss people steered their children away from. My body was racing a million miles an hour but Dimitri's lips, were honey coated, blessed by angels, amazing. It felt so natural, when my body and his paired together, they fit.

If this was what most people did when they didn't have cancer, I never had any idea on how much I was missing.


	11. Shared Kiss

Dimitri and I broke apart, his pupils were dilated and his lips had a shimmery look to them. I had just kissed Dimitri Belikov, this was not a dream it was real. I don't know how long we kissed for but I was breathless and flushed, Dimitri was the same. I never realised since I had been diagnosed what real happiness felt like, after a while I forgot what it was. I had fun, I was happy but I was never filled with such pure ecstasy. I was grinning from ear to ear and I noticed that so was Dimitri. He looked so gorgeous with his lips curled upwards in a full rare smile, like a kid on Christmas morning. Rain was plastering down on us, but neither of us cared. I felt like I had the momentum to do anything in that moment. My hand was still in his but I didn't care the happiness I felt it vibrate off me. Dimitri took my hand, and I smiled even more, after Dimitri saw my smile he beamed gently.

"Dimitri you look so gorgeous when you smile." I admitted, Dimitri looked at me with awe for a few seconds.

"How can you say that Roza, when you are the most beautiful, strongest and smartest women I have ever met." He stated I looked at the ground, blushing; I didn't think I was beautiful.

"There's nothing beautiful to cancer." I said quietly, I was a ticking time bomb on legs, what was beautiful about that, cancer was ugly, so ugly and I had it.

"Roza" Dimitri said after the moment of silent, "cancer is horrible, it is ugly. But you are not cancer, your blood cells aren't just made up on leukaemia, your brain has got other thoughts other than cancer, you are you. And Rosemarie Hathaway you are beautiful." Dimitri said, and then he slowly tipped up my chin. And wait for it; as if this moment couldn't get any better, Dimitri kissed me again.

Unlike last time, this wasn't so hungry and raw. It was a polished, passionate and slow kiss. One that melted my heart and my lips as I noticed that his tongue had grazed my teeth. I knew it, I couldn't help it.

I loved Dimitri Belikov; I loved him so much that it hurt. _But it would hurt him_. Dimitri grabbed my hand as we broke apart for the second time and ran me back inside, out of the rain and into the hospital. I would hopefully be dispatched, but they had to give me medicine. I had officially understood that even if you were at the hospital as a guest it ruined a lot of things. Hospital was a little shit as times if not all the time, but as a cancer patient it was something I was used to.

When we walked in we slowed down the pace, and the nurse caught sight of my face and immediately ran over to me. She spoke to me in English; no doubt Dimitri had told them that I was American.

"Mrs Belikov, we need to take you back to your room immediately, you shouldn't have left," She stated briskly, she had a wheelchair in her hand as if she been waiting for me the whole time and she pushed me in it not giving me a choice. Dimitri followed her down the hall and pushed me in the wheelchair. I knew that there was no point questioning it, I had tried to get out of them quite frequently in America, but I got pushed back in harder than the last time they pushed me in there was no avail. I replayed what she said, _Mrs Belikov_!

"Dimitri I get that we just kissed but I do not want to be a wife." I said angrily, "why am I put down as your wife!" I whispered/yelled. Dimitri looked at me and sighed

"I wasn't allowed in your room unless I had a relation to you, so I said that I was your husband." He said in a hushed voice next to my ear as we took the next turn down yet another hallway. I made an 'oh' sound and we made the rest of the trip back to my hospital room in silence.

Once we got back, I noticed another five nurses waiting in my room. A few didn't look very happy at me leaving but others were quite excited that I had woken up. I just smiled smugly, Dimitri clearly hadn't told them that once I woke up in a hospital that I liked to wander. I had noticed that they had chosen out nurses who could speak English and every word I said they wrote down in Russian on their notepads. I sat down in my bed and I answered the nurses' questions with my hand squeezing Dimitri's hand tightly. And then after recapping what had happened when I feel into a coma and once I woke up they started to explain why it had happened.

"Your husband may have informed you" the words sent shivers down my spine. "But you have not relapsed but if I understand correctly that you didn't eat the right nutrients for a period of six weeks and also forgot to take your tablets. Which was the reason why this had happened; the reaction didn't occur straight away but managed to build up to a bigger reaction. Your body wasn't able to fight the leukaemia as well without the right foods and help that it required making you sick." I nodded as I made an understanding, despite the fact that I had been in a coma I was allowed to leave the next morning. I feel asleep quite peacefully that night, Dimitri had refused to leave my side and he fell asleep with my hand in his.

But I stayed awake, wondering if Dimitri knew about the secret I had been keeping from him, I kept from everyone. I had my budget paid for my hospital fees all around. I had all the medical attention I needed. But I was a rare case; Abe was able to get everything he needed. But I have to have an illegal drug that was unknown to the rest of the world. I can remember making the deal with the FBI; it was legal for me to have the drug. _But here's the catch_, at the time they didn't know the human reaction to consuming the drug. It was a mild guess that I would survive with it, but I was going to die and at the time we were desperate. I was the FBI's human lab rat. But since I've had it, it's kept me alive and healthy, but if I don't have it; I don't get unwell, _I die_. And with the amount I had to have after the coma, _I've got no more left_. And if I have no more left, I get diagnosed with leukaemia in the next three weeks, and with a ninety-nine point five percent chance that I would die the next _day_.


	12. My IV drip taught me no fear

**I am so sorry for my lack of updates, tbh I know that it's an overrated, shitty excuse but I've been caught up with school work. And I think you guys know me I like to keep these notes brisk and small because I really hate authors note. And as much as I hate to say this but I won't be updating as quick as I used to. Thanks for standing by I 3 you guys.**

I wasn't afraid for death, thinking about it made me numb. I was so use to the idea that I was flirting with death that it didn't make me afraid anymore. I hadn't felt fear in such a long time, fear was painless, fear was stupid, and fear turned completely to oblivion once I got cancer. You wake up for a painful day, of your body being poked and prodded at by needles and syringes, growing drowsier by each one. The pain made you cringe and you toes curl. And then you would wake up to do it all again. No I haven't felt fear in a long time, I felt pain worse than death, and I felt it days on end. And then suddenly, after all of it; you're not afraid anymore. I had no reason to be afraid.

But now that I was holding Dimitri's hand, walking out of the hospital door; I was so afraid. Afraid, of what death would do to him, what _my _death could do to him. I wasn't afraid for me but Dimitri; Dimitri had so much to live for. A successful career, a wife, a happy life, children, dying in battle or by old age. I was going to die with my death was pencilled on a calendar. The second I don't have my pills, I'm just a body on the ground and a spirit wandering around after death trapped in my own thoughts. Dimitri deserved better than the heart ache. The fear I felt was adrenaline pumping just over my own thoughts, ice cold veins and a racing heart with sweaty palms. I couldn't be selfish, I mean even if I survived I couldn't have kids; the side effects of cancer killed any chance I had of ever living a normal life.

But I was so afraid, I was terrified. I was going to die and leave Dimitri, I could imagine my dead ghost screaming at him soundlessly as he suffered, and when he was forty eight finally moving on. But it would be too late, he wouldn't get the opportunity to have kids, he'd already be halfway to the grave behind me. I wanted to cry, scream and sob; but I didn't. I just stared blankly at the wall while walking out the hospital doors with his warm hand in mine. Rose Hathaway was scared, and the only thing she was scared of what would happen after her death, I was scared of oblivion. _But everyone was afraid of something_. Dimitri oblivious to what was going and he smiled warmly at me. We didn't say anything on the way home in his car; I rested my head on his shoulder, my mood slowly perking.

We walked through the door and then I was on my back with Dimitri's arms on each side of me. His body shifted over me, my heart caught up in my throat and the adrenaline flowed through my veins. Any thoughts of fear disappeared and I just felt pure _decadence_. Dimitri fought any type of self-control he had remaining.

"I'm so glad I have you." He growled through his teeth, I put on a man eating smile and his eyes turned fiery with passion. He leaned in and his lips came to rest on mine, my eyes flickered shut, and then he pulled back straight after only giving me a peck, my eyes snapped open.

"What was that?" I snapped, disappoint plummeting. Dimitri's fire intensified and he was waging a mental battle.

"Get packed" He said in an incredibly strained voice.

"Where am I going?" I asked whining like a child, still upset that I only got a peck.

"Well" Dimitri stated, "Where going on a road trip" he said smiling.

"Where will the final destination be?" I asked suddenly curious.

Dimitri chuckled, "I would generally catch a plane there but were going to Baia to see my family. It will take a week to get here and were spending two weeks there and then a week back." He said smiling a full smile.

I couldn't say no to his smile, it would be fun and enjoyable but if I don't take my tablets I will end up dead by the end of the trip. I didn't want to ruin it, so instead I plastered a smile on my face.

"Sure" I said, "I'll just take one of my suitcases with me, I don't have to pack then." I said while smiling. "When are we going?" I asked, Dimitri's smile grew.

"This afternoon" he said while the corners as of his eyes crinkled as I saw his mouth tug into a small smile. I knew that he loved me, but instead of freaking out my smile grew.

"I'll be down in twenty minutes." I said whilst grinning.

I was down in exactly twenty one minutes. My smile growing as I ran down the hallways with a massive suitcase in my hand. I knew that Dimitri was outside as he had texted me

'**Meet me out front in two minutes'** it had said and here I was. I ran outside like a kid on Christmas morning, I was going on actual road trip. But what I saw out front our small apartment was a small motorhome. I gaped with my mouth literally jaw dropping open. I squealed and threw myself into Dimitri's arms who was leaning beside the van.

"What do you think; I'm borrowing Ivan's motorhome?" He asked while smiling, trying to hide the fact that he was pleased to have made me so happy.

"I am so incredibly surprised and happy!" I squealed, Dimitri opened the door to the motorhome and out my suitcase in.

"You're not allowed to look at what the inside looks like until we stop." Dimitri declared as I tried to turn and see what I looked like. I huffed but got into the passenger seat next to Dimitri. If I didn't die on this road trip I had a feeling that I was going to have the time of my life. And that was when we drove through the Moscow streets and exited to go on the wild road trip. I had a feeling that it was going to be the best time of my life.


End file.
